Once upon a time at MTU, a very small greek girl was perched atop a windowsill. She and her friend, Phil, were joyously snacking on a delicious container of Oreo cookies. SUDDENLY, the peace was disturbed in a most perturbing way: the campers, in their unwise and youthful states, had neglected to supply themselves with much necessary milk to accompany their Oreos down the long, and treturous path to the delicious cookies’ resting places in their bellies. All Hell then broke loose. In a panic, the troubled campers began to do anything and everything that came to mind in order to attract the attention of some higher power that might assist them in their dilema; the first of which was to moo the word “milk” as loudly and frequently as possible. After no luck, many fruitless attempts at gaining superiors’ attentions, and the dinning hall not miraculously opening for their beverage needs, along hopped Sir Figopoulos, the children’s new hero. However, this brave knight was not only just in his milk-serving ways, he was wise: should at least one of the subject be able to complete a given task, the glorious milk would be rewarded. In a deep, booming voice, he proceeded to challenge the campers with a test of wit, agility, and strength. Young and weak Philip shrank away from the awesome power of his superior, “Nay, good sir, but i cannot match your glorious and magnificent abilities. Please forgive my existance.” His perserverant companion, however, was determined to secure her goal. “I shall undertake your bidding.” And with those words, the race for her very LIFE was underway. Creating three perfectly round tennis balls from thin air, because Sir Fig was also a wizard, he handed them to the tiny youth, instructing her to “Juggle.” As the first few feable attempts began to pay off, kniving Sir Fig knew he must do something to postpone the girl’s success. In a blast of heat and light, the three balls spontaneously combusted, forcing the child to move them ever faster. Her cries of pain filled every chamber of Douglass Houghton Hall, mingling with the deep booms of the great Figopoulos’ meniacle laughter. Finally, spent, starving, and parched, the young greek collapsed on the ground. Seeing her in such a pitiful, milk-needing state touched the knight’s gargantuine heart, and provoked him to facilitate her lactose based needs. He returned later that week not only with the white gold, but with more Oreos for the adorable little greek to share with all, and there was much rejoicing.
